North Korea, Best Korea!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
