I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
