Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
