we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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