just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
