fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
