wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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