oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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