When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Who died my cat blue again?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
