she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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