these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
