that's an acceptable place to lick
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
