My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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