ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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