My hand turned me down
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
