i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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