Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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