she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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