Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
