Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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