better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
