Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
