Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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