My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
