I feel like I'm in dance class right now
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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