I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
