Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
