a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
