I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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