Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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