Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
