You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
