i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
