i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
