I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Come on in and take your pants off
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