So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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