I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
