Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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