Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
