I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This is the high leading the old right now
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
