I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
