If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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