just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
