I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
