I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
