Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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