she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
