It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dick very happy bro
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
