My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
