If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Actions speak louder than pants.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
