ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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