so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
